As we stood together in the kitchen in the wee hours of the morning, waiting for your bottle to finish heating in the microwave, you caught sight of kitty. He appeared to not have been fed at bedtime, so was rubbing against my legs, purring loudly his reminder that his ever-empty tummy needed to be refilled.
Leaning across my chest, you looked down at the floor and smiled when you caught sight of him again, little squeaks of greeting escaping your lips every now and then. He had you so excited, that when we sat down on the couch to feed you, the bottle was the last thing on your mind.
Good thing kitty decided to follow us, because while I changed your diaper, there on the living room floor, kitty came up (overcoming his recent fear of you and your sister) for a short petting session. I bet that made your night: seeing kitty *and* getting to pet him!
Knowing that you have a soft spot for animals melts my heart, but what made it melt further?
Kitty walked around you to your other side, and rubbed up against your jolly jumper while I finished up changing your diaper. I looked down at you briefly, while I was wrapping up your wet diaper, and your fingers were curling and uncurling in his direction- in a 'come-back-here- motion.
You are too sweet!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Insane
It never fails: after a wonderful night, the day following it is awful.
The entire day, up until now, has been full of crying. And, nothing is making her happy. Put her in your lap, and she slides out like she wants to lie down. Lie her down, and she cries because she doesn't want to be lying down. Offer her food, and she shakes her head no. Put her to bed, and she cries even harder, throwing the occasional scream in there. Give her Gripe water, hoping it will calm her down (thinking it could be an upset tummy), and it has no effect. Put her in the jolly jumper, exersaucer, sit her up to play on the floor--nothing makes her happy. Not even a bowl of bananas, which are her favorite. Nothing is working today. I refuse to hold her these days--her sister is jealous enough as it is, and I can't carry baby around all day long. I want her to learn to be independant, but the harder I try to do that, the tighter she clings to me.
My next options are to just put her to bed and let her cry it out, or give her advil and follow the previous anecdote. She's already woken her sister up, who was napping peacefully in their room. I'm hiding in the basement--I can still hear her crying, and her sister occasionally kicking the side of her crib. I've vetoed giving her advil for now--her pediatrician says its bad, so I'm trying my hardest not to give it to her. The GP in town says that Tylenol is ok to give, but I don't want to give that to her, either. She's had too much drugs in her short life already.
But...I'll start after the babysitter leaves this afternoon. She'll be here in forty five minutes, and for her own sanity, I'll give baby advil in the hopes it will brighten and cheer her up.
It breaks my heart. I've finally decided that all I can do from now on is to just put her to bed, and let her cry. Let her cry until either happiness returns, or she falls asleep. I should go get her sister up out of bed, but its going to send her into another massive fit. I don't want her to see me.
They are going to nap in separate rooms from now on: I'll pull the play pen into our room and let one baby sleep in our room, and other in their own room. That way neither of them will interrupt eachother.
Oh, dear...what can I take, short of drinking and smoking and doing drugs? (None of which I'll do, of course, but sometimes its ohhhh so tempting...) for my own sanity?????
The entire day, up until now, has been full of crying. And, nothing is making her happy. Put her in your lap, and she slides out like she wants to lie down. Lie her down, and she cries because she doesn't want to be lying down. Offer her food, and she shakes her head no. Put her to bed, and she cries even harder, throwing the occasional scream in there. Give her Gripe water, hoping it will calm her down (thinking it could be an upset tummy), and it has no effect. Put her in the jolly jumper, exersaucer, sit her up to play on the floor--nothing makes her happy. Not even a bowl of bananas, which are her favorite. Nothing is working today. I refuse to hold her these days--her sister is jealous enough as it is, and I can't carry baby around all day long. I want her to learn to be independant, but the harder I try to do that, the tighter she clings to me.
My next options are to just put her to bed and let her cry it out, or give her advil and follow the previous anecdote. She's already woken her sister up, who was napping peacefully in their room. I'm hiding in the basement--I can still hear her crying, and her sister occasionally kicking the side of her crib. I've vetoed giving her advil for now--her pediatrician says its bad, so I'm trying my hardest not to give it to her. The GP in town says that Tylenol is ok to give, but I don't want to give that to her, either. She's had too much drugs in her short life already.
But...I'll start after the babysitter leaves this afternoon. She'll be here in forty five minutes, and for her own sanity, I'll give baby advil in the hopes it will brighten and cheer her up.
It breaks my heart. I've finally decided that all I can do from now on is to just put her to bed, and let her cry. Let her cry until either happiness returns, or she falls asleep. I should go get her sister up out of bed, but its going to send her into another massive fit. I don't want her to see me.
They are going to nap in separate rooms from now on: I'll pull the play pen into our room and let one baby sleep in our room, and other in their own room. That way neither of them will interrupt eachother.
Oh, dear...what can I take, short of drinking and smoking and doing drugs? (None of which I'll do, of course, but sometimes its ohhhh so tempting...) for my own sanity?????
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Something New
Neither of you had seen anything like it in your short baby lives. The lights were bright, the air was cool, and then soon there were men gliding around on ice in bright colored jerseys, pushing around black round objects that made loud noises when they hit the glass in front of us.
You looked at the ceiling, rippled and poorly absorbing the heat the furnace was undoubtedly throwing into the air, at people filling up the lobby, at the policeman in his uniform standing directly behind the chair I was sitting in, taking everything in. Faintly, a slight smile crossed your mouth (behind your sucky), or did it? I couldn't really tell. Daddy thought he saw it, too.
You were about to witness your first hockey game- fights and all. It was going to be the battle of the towns: Arcola vs. Carlyle. (Go Combines, go!!)
In my lap, you were lightly bouncing binky's pink bunny ear in the air, staring intently at the men on the ice warming up; then you were in mama's arms as I stood rigidly in the corner, in front of the plexiglas separating us from colder air still, and flying hockey pucks that could knock a person out, leaving pretty colors in its wake, should they hit you. The loud, sudden sound of the puck hitting the glass evoked no fear of any kind in you--not even a response.
Daddy and I looked at eachother in surprise--and relief. We might have a good night afterall!
I underestimated just how good the night would be for you and I. Shortly after the game began, you began slouching in my lap, you began whining and wouldn't settle down. Finally, upon standing for the thirtieth time, I decided to cradle you to sleep like I had done so many times when you were itty bitty tiny.
Sucky in mouth, binky tucked under your arm with soft ears at your chin for easy access (to either play with or chew on--of course all at your own discretion), and blanket covering you for extra warmth, you settled. You stared for the longest time at the policemen (by that time a few more had dropped in to visit--must have been a real busy night) and paramedics standing behind us, talking to the couple with a baby there, just as if you were eavesdropping on their Newfie-accented conversation; your sister was intent on playing with the mama and the baby at the same time. For her, there was too much going on, too much to absorb, too much to miss should she go to sleep.
Nope, she'd keep going till she dropped in her tracks.
(Where does she get all her energy, daddy asked. Its beyond me, truthfully, but all I told him was babies are supposed to be full of energy, and as we grow up, we lose it...)
Finally, eventually, you fell to sleep. Deeply enough, I might add, for sucky to even fall from your mouth.
Twice.
(Of course, you woke a few times in between to cry and whimper, but you soon were back to dreamland each time).
Even though the rest of the night was rough for the three of us, thank you so much for this small gift. I love moments like this.
You looked at the ceiling, rippled and poorly absorbing the heat the furnace was undoubtedly throwing into the air, at people filling up the lobby, at the policeman in his uniform standing directly behind the chair I was sitting in, taking everything in. Faintly, a slight smile crossed your mouth (behind your sucky), or did it? I couldn't really tell. Daddy thought he saw it, too.
You were about to witness your first hockey game- fights and all. It was going to be the battle of the towns: Arcola vs. Carlyle. (Go Combines, go!!)
In my lap, you were lightly bouncing binky's pink bunny ear in the air, staring intently at the men on the ice warming up; then you were in mama's arms as I stood rigidly in the corner, in front of the plexiglas separating us from colder air still, and flying hockey pucks that could knock a person out, leaving pretty colors in its wake, should they hit you. The loud, sudden sound of the puck hitting the glass evoked no fear of any kind in you--not even a response.
Daddy and I looked at eachother in surprise--and relief. We might have a good night afterall!
I underestimated just how good the night would be for you and I. Shortly after the game began, you began slouching in my lap, you began whining and wouldn't settle down. Finally, upon standing for the thirtieth time, I decided to cradle you to sleep like I had done so many times when you were itty bitty tiny.
Sucky in mouth, binky tucked under your arm with soft ears at your chin for easy access (to either play with or chew on--of course all at your own discretion), and blanket covering you for extra warmth, you settled. You stared for the longest time at the policemen (by that time a few more had dropped in to visit--must have been a real busy night) and paramedics standing behind us, talking to the couple with a baby there, just as if you were eavesdropping on their Newfie-accented conversation; your sister was intent on playing with the mama and the baby at the same time. For her, there was too much going on, too much to absorb, too much to miss should she go to sleep.
Nope, she'd keep going till she dropped in her tracks.
(Where does she get all her energy, daddy asked. Its beyond me, truthfully, but all I told him was babies are supposed to be full of energy, and as we grow up, we lose it...)
Finally, eventually, you fell to sleep. Deeply enough, I might add, for sucky to even fall from your mouth.
Twice.
(Of course, you woke a few times in between to cry and whimper, but you soon were back to dreamland each time).
Even though the rest of the night was rough for the three of us, thank you so much for this small gift. I love moments like this.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Hobby Central
Thank goodness for a hobby I love.
The possibilities are endless!
In the name of saving some money--and to relieve my desire to get in touch with my happier self this year (both of which are new years resolutions)--an idea came upon me to scrapbook picture frames for the girls. (Following a desire to get projects other than scrapbook pages done this year...)
Well...not the frames themselves, but a picture inside it.
Husband bought me a bunch of picture frames for Christmas, and two of them are 8 by 10. They're the perfect size for a little perfect something for the twinlets!
Pictures will follow when my projects are done.
The possibilities are endless!
In the name of saving some money--and to relieve my desire to get in touch with my happier self this year (both of which are new years resolutions)--an idea came upon me to scrapbook picture frames for the girls. (Following a desire to get projects other than scrapbook pages done this year...)
Well...not the frames themselves, but a picture inside it.
Husband bought me a bunch of picture frames for Christmas, and two of them are 8 by 10. They're the perfect size for a little perfect something for the twinlets!
Pictures will follow when my projects are done.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Liar Liar
We are lucky enough to be heading into Regina next Friday for the appointment we've been worrying over--rather than waiting the dreaded three months to see the pediatrician, we have only a week to wait!
Fewf!!
But...
We are being made into liars.
Partly.
Missy Moo seems to be pulling out of the funk that she's been in the last two months. She is napping better again, her appetite seems to be returning, and although she had one minor hiccup at 6 this morning, the crying fits seem to be subsiding, too.
Though, that doesn't explain why her right knee won't reflex when its hit with the rubber mallet.
But, maybe--hopefully--everything is interrelated and we can get all our concerns answered in one shot. I will insist that both girls be sent to an allergist or have allergy testing done. I have a nagging suspicion there are allergies at play. Some how, in some small part.
However, I am still going to keep the appointment we booked with a NICU doctor (in the meatime), just in case we are not satisfied with the answers we get from this pediatrician.
And, in a last ditch effort, if none of that pleases me, I am bringing her to Alberta, and I'll find a doctor there that will listen to me and do something about it...
But, since I am staying positive and hopeful this is going to turn up some long awaited answers, I'm really looking forward to next Friday!!
Fewf!!
But...
We are being made into liars.
Partly.
Missy Moo seems to be pulling out of the funk that she's been in the last two months. She is napping better again, her appetite seems to be returning, and although she had one minor hiccup at 6 this morning, the crying fits seem to be subsiding, too.
Though, that doesn't explain why her right knee won't reflex when its hit with the rubber mallet.
But, maybe--hopefully--everything is interrelated and we can get all our concerns answered in one shot. I will insist that both girls be sent to an allergist or have allergy testing done. I have a nagging suspicion there are allergies at play. Some how, in some small part.
However, I am still going to keep the appointment we booked with a NICU doctor (in the meatime), just in case we are not satisfied with the answers we get from this pediatrician.
And, in a last ditch effort, if none of that pleases me, I am bringing her to Alberta, and I'll find a doctor there that will listen to me and do something about it...
But, since I am staying positive and hopeful this is going to turn up some long awaited answers, I'm really looking forward to next Friday!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Waiting Game
I've been trying so hard to keep the despair and negativity I'm feeling towards Addisons' disposition, health problems, temperament (take your pick--I'm not sure what the right word is to describe the situation, though I feel that health problems is the best way to describe it) out of my blog, but tonight I'm unable to avoid it.
Just in the way that we have to wait again for a referral to a new pediatrician. I am hoping, earnestly, that we do not need to wait long (as in 3 months long). Not knowing what is wrong has gone on long enough. She was doing so well up until the middle of November, and then things went all awry again. She doesn't sleep well at night, waking up howling, as if she's hurting somewhere; holding her and cuddling her doesn't help anymore, either. When I hold her, she pushes away. She isn't hungry; typically she wakes within an hour or two of eating.
She's begung crying at frequent intervals throughout the day again- for the most part enough throughout the day that I dare not leave the living room where she's playing, because as soon as I start doing something, the crying begins again.
Her appetite remains on the poorer side--one day she'll eat fairly well (for her) and the next, she eats next to nothing. For a while, even rice cereal didn't go over so well. In the last week or so, it seems to be getting better again, thankfully, because breakfast and supper tend to be the only meals where she eats (in my mind) adequately.
Naps aren't going so well, either--for both girls. Maybe its teething; I'm not sure. Typically, they would nap an hour or a little longer each time they went to sleep during the day. They were having a quick snack at 5 pm and then heading for another quick, short nap after that, tying them over until supper time at 7, and then bedtime at 8. Not anymore. Now we're not napping at all after 2, and the naps we do take are only half an hour long.
Thankfully for Maren, she's starting to sleep through the night. It might not be every night, but three out of the last four nights have been all-nighters for her. Thank you, baby!!
I've been bringing Addison to the chiropractor, which unfortunately isn't making a big enough difference for us. It isn't really helping. Her pediatrician, who we saw last Monday, didn't have the time to listen to my concerns, so sent us home with an inadequate diagnosis (slight ear infection--so take amoxycillin and an antacid for tummy troubles). Today, we went to another doctor, this time in town, and I am not totally satisfied with what he had to say, either. I was hoping he would have some insight into the situation; either he was playing it safe or he really didn't know.
The chiropractor isn't able--and hasn't been able to over the last three visits-- to get Addisons' right knee to reflex with her rubber mallet. She is a bit concerned about it, so asked me to have it checked by someone else. We did, and now we're waiting for another doctor to have a look at it. We hear that this pediatrician is really good; his waiting list is long, but once we get in, we won't be disappointed.
Dear Lord.
The first time we were referred to him, we had to wait three months. At the time, that was wwaaayyyyy too long. Thank goodness our current pediatrician came up with the diagnosis of colic. It may not have been the right or accurate one, but what he prescribed certainly made a difference.
Not anymore. Now there's something else. Oh, she still has her happy moments. And when she does, she is soooo sweet. I just wish they happened a little more frequently.
For my own sanity--and for the sake of my dear child--I am not sure I can wait that long again, either.
Just in the way that we have to wait again for a referral to a new pediatrician. I am hoping, earnestly, that we do not need to wait long (as in 3 months long). Not knowing what is wrong has gone on long enough. She was doing so well up until the middle of November, and then things went all awry again. She doesn't sleep well at night, waking up howling, as if she's hurting somewhere; holding her and cuddling her doesn't help anymore, either. When I hold her, she pushes away. She isn't hungry; typically she wakes within an hour or two of eating.
She's begung crying at frequent intervals throughout the day again- for the most part enough throughout the day that I dare not leave the living room where she's playing, because as soon as I start doing something, the crying begins again.
Her appetite remains on the poorer side--one day she'll eat fairly well (for her) and the next, she eats next to nothing. For a while, even rice cereal didn't go over so well. In the last week or so, it seems to be getting better again, thankfully, because breakfast and supper tend to be the only meals where she eats (in my mind) adequately.
Naps aren't going so well, either--for both girls. Maybe its teething; I'm not sure. Typically, they would nap an hour or a little longer each time they went to sleep during the day. They were having a quick snack at 5 pm and then heading for another quick, short nap after that, tying them over until supper time at 7, and then bedtime at 8. Not anymore. Now we're not napping at all after 2, and the naps we do take are only half an hour long.
Thankfully for Maren, she's starting to sleep through the night. It might not be every night, but three out of the last four nights have been all-nighters for her. Thank you, baby!!
I've been bringing Addison to the chiropractor, which unfortunately isn't making a big enough difference for us. It isn't really helping. Her pediatrician, who we saw last Monday, didn't have the time to listen to my concerns, so sent us home with an inadequate diagnosis (slight ear infection--so take amoxycillin and an antacid for tummy troubles). Today, we went to another doctor, this time in town, and I am not totally satisfied with what he had to say, either. I was hoping he would have some insight into the situation; either he was playing it safe or he really didn't know.
The chiropractor isn't able--and hasn't been able to over the last three visits-- to get Addisons' right knee to reflex with her rubber mallet. She is a bit concerned about it, so asked me to have it checked by someone else. We did, and now we're waiting for another doctor to have a look at it. We hear that this pediatrician is really good; his waiting list is long, but once we get in, we won't be disappointed.
Dear Lord.
The first time we were referred to him, we had to wait three months. At the time, that was wwaaayyyyy too long. Thank goodness our current pediatrician came up with the diagnosis of colic. It may not have been the right or accurate one, but what he prescribed certainly made a difference.
Not anymore. Now there's something else. Oh, she still has her happy moments. And when she does, she is soooo sweet. I just wish they happened a little more frequently.
For my own sanity--and for the sake of my dear child--I am not sure I can wait that long again, either.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Amazed
On just about a daily basis, you continue to amaze me!
For instance, last night after putting you to bed, and of course, upon hearing you cry-probably because you got rolled onto your hands and knees and weren't able to correct yourself--I came to your room to put you back into the right position.
What I saw astonished me.
I called your daddy into your room, saying, 'you'll never guess!!', and was mildly surprised when he didn't comment. I was shocked beyond belief! I had no idea how you did it.
Sit up in bed, that is.
All. on. your. own, I might add.
You were in the very top left corner, sitting up perfectly straight--almost as if I had set you down there myself.
Crying.
As if, through your tears, you were wailing, 'how do I lay down again?'
After that, you went right to sleep. I know its your habit to roll around and turn as much as you can--I think its to find your 'sweet spot' before falling to sleep (though a little more play time never hurts either, right monkey??), and I suppose now we're going to have to add sitting up in bed to that habitual practice, too!
And, daddy's right. Soon we are going to have to lower the mattress in your crib...
For instance, last night after putting you to bed, and of course, upon hearing you cry-probably because you got rolled onto your hands and knees and weren't able to correct yourself--I came to your room to put you back into the right position.
What I saw astonished me.
I called your daddy into your room, saying, 'you'll never guess!!', and was mildly surprised when he didn't comment. I was shocked beyond belief! I had no idea how you did it.
Sit up in bed, that is.
All. on. your. own, I might add.
You were in the very top left corner, sitting up perfectly straight--almost as if I had set you down there myself.
Crying.
As if, through your tears, you were wailing, 'how do I lay down again?'
After that, you went right to sleep. I know its your habit to roll around and turn as much as you can--I think its to find your 'sweet spot' before falling to sleep (though a little more play time never hurts either, right monkey??), and I suppose now we're going to have to add sitting up in bed to that habitual practice, too!
And, daddy's right. Soon we are going to have to lower the mattress in your crib...
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