Sometimes, Incredibly Nasty

We had an incredibly fun day today! Most of the family didn't show up until just when we were leaving, but we sort of assumed that. Its fine- we'll get to see them the rest of the weekend. They probably still had to work today, because the holiday really isn't until Monday. Personally, I'm pretty excited for the kids, because 1) they'll enjoy this years' camping trip much more than last years (they Maren was just beginning to walk last summer, and Addison was still crawling); 2) they'll get to go swimming this time around, too, and we all know how much they abhor love the water; and 3) their other little cousin, who is 6 months older than the girls, will be there for the first time ever. I am most excited about that. Maren gets along really well with C, so it should be a fairly interesting weekend!

We also got to see some of the devastation all the water and flooding has been causing around these parts this summer. When the weekend is over, I'll have some pictures to share. A few points along the highway has been somewhat washed out by the water. Mother nature is sometimes incredibly nasty!

In the morning, we'll be hitting up Walmart quick for a few necessities that were forgotten/overseen, then heading back to the campground to enjoy our day. Poor Maren lost Kiki out there, so she went to bed with twin stand ins- we've got two brown ones that were given us by a friend- and she surprisingly (thankfully) went down fairly easily and quickly! Phew! I promised her that grandma and grandpa were taking good care of Kiki, and we would find him again tomorrow when we go 'camping'. Hopefully its around somewhere- I have no clue how it made its way out of the truck after I'd already put it in there a few times because she constantly dropped him on the ground and left him there. Hopefully he's not lost!

ANother reveal day has finally come around again over at Lets Capture THese Sketches. You can find the sketch and the beautiful layouts the girls have made here.  Seriously, what an incredibly talented group of ladies! Here's my interpretation of Sketch #143. I've finally made it through Father's day weekend! In honour of the men in my life, I made a layout especially for them. 

I absolutely loved working with this sketch. Simple, clean lines, and straight to the point. Just how I like it! My favourite element is the black photo frames I put around the pictures of my dad and Kyle. Really eye catching! I also like the contrast the white frame provides around the 4x6 picture of Kyle in the middle, and I felt the neutral colours worked well for a masculine page- especially since both guys are 'mens men' lol. You'll probably see more variations of this sketch in the future, so keep your eyes peeled!

Well, I'm off to play for a little bit before turning in for the night. Have a safe and happy weekend!

~a

In the Deep

When reality finally sets in and you realize the person you thought you knew best isn't at all what you originally thought, and it dawns on you that you don't like who the real person is, what do you do? How do you deal with that? Especially when for the last year and a half you've been racking your brain trying to figure out why that person changed so drastically, quickly and permanently?

All the things that were justified and just shrugged off previously are now the biggest impediments to your relationship. It's possible that resentment is filling in the gaps where compassion and understanding used to reside. Frustration and confusion are taking up residence, too, screaming out, "you know how you feel, but what are you going to do about it- what SHOULD be done about it?"

Nothing is no longer an option. Pain is just going to keep returning and the resentment will only grow as a result. Forgiveness has been asked for and given, but how much more...how much longer? Next time, when things get returned to normal, it will be another excuse of another kind. And forgiveness will be asked for and given.

Just-- why won't it stop?

~21~ loud footsteps of a toddler perfecting the art of walking
~22~ the kind, thoughtful people that hold doors open for us when they see us coming
~23~ two well-behaved children that were easily entertained and preoccupied while their mama visited the doctor
~24~ the sweet way she picks food up off the table and holds it up for mama so she can put it back in the bowl she's feeding her from
~25~ and how her sister has picked up that habit too

Insane

It never fails: after a wonderful night, the day following it is awful.

The entire day, up until now, has been full of crying. And, nothing is making her happy. Put her in your lap, and she slides out like she wants to lie down. Lie her down, and she cries because she doesn't want to be lying down. Offer her food, and she shakes her head no. Put her to bed, and she cries even harder, throwing the occasional scream in there. Give her Gripe water, hoping it will calm her down (thinking it could be an upset tummy), and it has no effect. Put her in the jolly jumper, exersaucer, sit her up to play on the floor--nothing makes her happy. Not even a bowl of bananas, which are her favorite. Nothing is working today. I refuse to hold her these days--her sister is jealous enough as it is, and I can't carry baby around all day long. I want her to learn to be independant, but the harder I try to do that, the tighter she clings to me.

My next options are to just put her to bed and let her cry it out, or give her advil and follow the previous anecdote. She's already woken her sister up, who was napping peacefully in their room. I'm hiding in the basement--I can still hear her crying, and her sister occasionally kicking the side of her crib. I've vetoed giving her advil for now--her pediatrician says its bad, so I'm trying my hardest not to give it to her. The GP in town says that Tylenol is ok to give, but I don't want to give that to her, either. She's had too much drugs in her short life already.

But...I'll start after the babysitter leaves this afternoon. She'll be here in forty five minutes, and for her own sanity, I'll give baby advil in the hopes it will brighten and cheer her up.

It breaks my heart. I've finally decided that all I can do from now on is to just put her to bed, and let her cry. Let her cry until either happiness returns, or she falls asleep. I should go get her sister up out of bed, but its going to send her into another massive fit. I don't want her to see me.

They are going to nap in separate rooms from now on: I'll pull the play pen into our room and let one baby sleep in our room, and other in their own room. That way neither of them will interrupt eachother.

Oh, dear...what can I take, short of drinking and smoking and doing drugs? (None of which I'll do, of course, but sometimes its ohhhh so tempting...) for my own sanity?????