Wednesday, August 3, 2011

In the Deep

When reality finally sets in and you realize the person you thought you knew best isn't at all what you originally thought, and it dawns on you that you don't like who the real person is, what do you do? How do you deal with that? Especially when for the last year and a half you've been racking your brain trying to figure out why that person changed so drastically, quickly and permanently?

All the things that were justified and just shrugged off previously are now the biggest impediments to your relationship. It's possible that resentment is filling in the gaps where compassion and understanding used to reside. Frustration and confusion are taking up residence, too, screaming out, "you know how you feel, but what are you going to do about it- what SHOULD be done about it?"

Nothing is no longer an option. Pain is just going to keep returning and the resentment will only grow as a result. Forgiveness has been asked for and given, but how much much longer? Next time, when things get returned to normal, it will be another excuse of another kind. And forgiveness will be asked for and given.

Just-- why won't it stop?

~21~ loud footsteps of a toddler perfecting the art of walking
~22~ the kind, thoughtful people that hold doors open for us when they see us coming
~23~ two well-behaved children that were easily entertained and preoccupied while their mama visited the doctor
~24~ the sweet way she picks food up off the table and holds it up for mama so she can put it back in the bowl she's feeding her from
~25~ and how her sister has picked up that habit too

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