Friday, August 5, 2011

Down

It is so hard putting a positive face while living in a place like a campground. I just talked with husband on the phone and now I am faltering. I am discouraged.

It frustrates me that the kids don't have grass to play in- only dirt; it frustrates me that things the kids shouldn't get into- like 100 lb. Propane bottles and rakes (why do we have a rake at a campground??), have nowhere to go from curious little hands; it frustrates me that no matter how much I try and organize and keep things tidy, the trailer still looks messy and unkempt.

It's totally open here. I can't stop maren from crawling under the trailer, I can't get her out from under there, I can't stop her from playing on the table and picnic table (because they have nowhere else to play), and I can't stop either of them from getting under foot ALL the time. (ok, that might be part of motherhood, and it doesn't irk me like the rest does).

I am starting to feel like a single mother again. No husband and no help raising two children- or at least no help keeping an adequate eye on them. Husband is proud of the tent, and I am not. It frustrates me too. I think the plastic fences were the way to go--but only as long as there is grass, not dirt. I am frustrated husband doesn't want to move the trailer or have a neighbor "6 inches away" from him. His laziness is his biggest fault. His selfishness is a close second.

How do other oilfield wives deal with the separation, the constant "unknown", and lonely life? Are they as disappointed in their marriages and husbands as I am?

2 comments:

  1. once when we moved as kids we moved to a campground. i loved it but i was 5. lol

    as for waiting for a house to sell and liveing somewhere you would rather not, that is no fun either. we rented out our edmonton house for 3 years and rented here. the hardest time in our relationship (while i was pregnant as well) was when the last tenant left and we were trying to sell. we lived in a townhouse for that time.

    could not imagine liveing in a campground now....

    as for the oilfeild workers many many of them are like that. work hard play harder responsibility last... thats not the case for all of them but many.

    ReplyDelete
  2. as my hubs pointed out they are used to liveing in trailers. so it's just what they are used to... but that doesnt mean you should have lo love like that, wouldn't renting a small apartment be cheaper?

    you are supposed to be a team, though demands and all that dont work he essentially is demanding you live a way you dont want to, you may have to make it clear that you CANT live like that and start demanding things for your own sanity... or even just leave and make it clear you wont put up with it IF only IF he wont listen. stay with family or something for a while where you have support, you being isolated isnt helping you or your relationship. quite frankly it seems a bit controlling... keep in mind my dad was a huge head case and he did odd things in an attempt to control my mom and us kids.

    i'm not sure if that is the case for you as i just don't have enough info but i see red flags.

    ReplyDelete