Friday, August 10, 2012

Happy To See You

Friday means reveal day! Yipee!

Head on over to Lets Capture These Sketches for the latest sketch and all the beautiful work the girls put into their interpretations of it! Truly inspiring!

This is what I did with the sketch:

I created the background using Stampin' Up's Summer Sun ink and Stampendous stamp (from Michaels) Bird Post. I just love it! I used a mixture of scrap papers- some Stampin' Up, some Recollections, some basic card stock, some K&Co. The flower stamp (Hampton Arts Fab Flowers- also from Michaels) in the foreground was done also using the Summer Sun yellow from Stampin' Up.

The finishing touches include using my Creative Memories tag punch, and the cloud I've had for so long I can't remember where it came from. It was the last of its kind, and I'm sad that they're finally all used up. They were so fun to work with! (I had foam stars, clouds, and a few other odds and ends). Luckily I went and bought more foam- now I just need to create my own shapes with it!

Speaking of the cloud, I wanted to mimic the cloud in Addisons sweater, so I created raindrops on my layout using clear rhinestones. And, as we all know, water replenishes the earth, so I positioned it above the strip of flowers!

Finally, the title work is one of Addisons most favourite phrases. It defines who she is- and reminds me so much of myself. I guess its her version of my 'hey, hows it going?' I love it!

I'm about to get pretty personal here, so if you're not interested, then see you tomorrow! If you are, thanks for sticking through, my friend!

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And, on a personal note, how do you deal with daily, motherly frustrations? Kids not listening, the house in a constant state of disastrous mess, accident upon accident upon accident...I feel like I'm going to crack under the pressure! The worst days always seem to occur when a) Kyle's working late or b) I feel like I've just spent too much time with the kids with no relief.

Which is always the case, since I rarely get out on my own. If I do, its always 'don't be too long' or 'please hurry'.

I give myself 'time outs' during the day but that doesn't seem to work anymore either, because while I'm trying to keep my emotions under control, the kids have gotten into something else that sends it sky rocketing again! I finally reached by boiling point by 8:30 tonight because the kids just didn't seem interested in listening to me. I gave them numerous chances to listen, and options to choose from, and they wouldn't acknowledge any of what I said to them. I even threatened to turn off their beloved Toopy and Binoo (bedtime ritual) and send them straight to bed. That didn't work either. So, they went to bed, with no T and P. They got stories, but that was it.

Maybe there's something to having only two children, but I desperately don't want that to be the case.

I am so devoid of any happiness, I'm utterly at my ropes' end. I am in an incredibly dark spot in my life, right now. So dark, I've reached a point where I hate my life. I hate being a mother more days that I like it, I hate my marriage (more the state its in rather than my actual marriage), I hate my life. All my life is is MOMMYING. There's no room in it for the girl who used to be- just.simply.Alison. Just scrapping every night isn't enough anymore. Sleeping right along with the girls at nap time isn't enough anymore (I think its more an escape than anything else). The two friendships I made when we first moved here have both disintegrated. I'm too shy to go out and make new friends. I'm too shy to even bring my kids to moms and tots groups.

I don't foresee things getting any better, either. Kyle appears to be in the 'up-swing' of work again. There's been nothing through the entire summer, and now that its winding down, work seems to be picking up. Notice how there hasn't been any 'thankfuls' in a long time? I haven't forgotten about it; I haven't given up on it; I still want to work on my list. But, in my current emotional state of mind, I'm finding it incredibly difficult to think of anything positive to be thankful for.

I rarely mention things like this here, and I'll continue to do so. But, I just needed to get off my chest that the girl that used to be is disintegrating, and getting lost in the shuffle and forgotten. And, it sucks and hurts. The.End.


  1. Hi Ali, first I want to comment on your beautiful layout! So bright, sunny, and just gorgeous. I love how you used the stamps and clear rhinestones!
    Secondly, Oh my goodness, Alison! I will most definitely put you at the top of my prayers list. As a mother, I want to tell you that it hasn't always been a bed of roses. My husband travels a lot, too. I think if you put aside time for yourself - maybe when your beautiful girls are napping - to read a good book (I am reading "Safely Home" by Randy Alcorn right now and love it) and to scrap - you will feel better. I have tried scrapping about my "sad" and "not so wonderful" moments - and found it was great therapy. Also, just like you did, putting our thoughts into words really helps. Please know that your friends are here for you. You can PM me anytime on Facebook if you just need to "talk." My prayers are with you, Ali. God is good and will show you the way.

  2. Hey Alison!
    The blogging world is such a cool way for all us like-minded people to share in each other's lives, isn't it? I follow your blog all the time, Ali, and I love reading about your girls and your beautiful scrapping/card-making projects. You are talented and beautiful, just like you were in high school. (Shocking that we're already 10+ years out of high school isn't it?) I often think to myself that I wish we lived a bit closer so we could reconnect in person.
    Trust me, I have days where I've only got one nerve left, and it's frayed. Some days are rough. I feel "touched out" so many days with a preschooler clamoring for my attention and a clingy baby always wanting to be held. I know it must be difficult with twins - I admire you very much. On the days that I struggle, I remind myself that soon (too soon) my little babies will be big and will have friends and interests of their own and may not want to hang out with me and think I'm the coolest thing since sliced bread! LOL! Just remember, this too shall pass. God never gives us more than we can handle. You're doing a great job - your girls are growing up strong and beautiful.
    I think Sharon has a great point in her comment - make sure to set aside time to just take care of you. Even if it's just sitting out on the deck with a coffee and book. It's important to have time for yourself. And also...I think it's important that you know you have friends that support you and are here for you. Next time I'm in Whitecourt I'll try to make a point to schedule in some extra time for visiting if you're up for it!
    I apologize for writing a novel in your comments section! Ha! I just had you on my heart today.